25 01 2011

Why do some relationships fail and why do others last forever? I have heard different stories why people end their relationships but I cant understand why some couples decided fix their relationship compared to why others decide to call it quits on the similar issues. I have observed hundreds of relationships and I have come to the conclusions that:

“Everyone wants the benefits of a relationships, but not everyone wants the responsibilities of one”

Men have forgotten to be genuine gentlemen and ladies forgot to be majestic. Sad to say but guys just want to the perks and ladies have too much demands from us men. If we learned to solve this problem more relationships would last longer and survive.

A relationship is shared between two people who care for each other. They love one another and the make the necessary sacrifices. There is no such thing as a perfect person for you nor are you the perfect person for someone. Everyone has flaws; there will always something that will irritate you or the other person. But Love is something that you learn. Love is allows you to look pass all those flaws and love them for what they can offer and not by how you can change them to make them better. Love cannot be taken, it can only be given. It’s either received or rejected. Love can’t be force upon. The interpretation of “LOVE” is confused of what the mind says and what the heart feels. Our emotions can changed the outlook of a person and how you feel about them. It can cloud your vision and become blinded by not appreciating the efforts of the person. Remember: “Just because the person isn’t loving you the way you want, that doesn’t mean he/she isn’t loving you with all they got”.

When you are second guessing the person’s affection for you then you are in an unhealthy relationship. It can be at fault on both ends. I came out of an unhealthy relationship. It was unhealthy from the beginning. There was girl who I found out she liked me. Both of us were in a relationship where we wasn’t happy anymore. I took a risk and left my relationship to see where things would go with her. She was an adventure. She made me smile, laugh, and I could be myself. I was happy with her but she did too much things in a relationship where I knew I should have ended things. Instead of ending it I always gave her 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and plus chances hoping things would turn around. I wanted the best to come out of this situation. I prayed things would change. I prayed that she could be happy and that we can be happy together. I prayed that in time she would realize that all the BS was worth it. My head and my heart told me that things would change and we would be a normal couple, nothing hidden from the world. I was wrong. We stayed like this for over a year.

I thought and asked myself what is she afraid of? What is she waiting for? The longer we waited the harder it would become for her to say something. No matter when she says, it still will be difficult for her to explain. To be happy with someone we must love the person the way he/she wants to be loved. Learn to smile with your significant other, learn to laugh at both the good and the bad. Never take things too seriously because you lose moments where could have enjoy each others joy rather than each others anger. Be someone who takes interest in the other person and proactive in each others lives as well as their friends and family. A relationship is where someone becomes part of your life and it’s not when he/she is just in it.

Unfortunately, in my story things ended. I pushed her away and caused her to end things. In my head she made the right decision but my heart doesn’t. People make mistakes and it seems I made mines. This blog isn’t to point fingers and blame her for how things ended but this is just for me to vent so that I learned from my wrong and prevent future mistakes.

So what is a relationship? It’s a couple where two people who are proud and happy to be with each other. There is an open communication where they express they’re feeling. They’re more then each others significant others but each others best friend. They are there to console each other when someone is in pain. Nothing is hidden from each other. You become generally interested in his/her life. It an ongoing battle in making sacrifices so BOTH are happy. A relationship is between the couple and “NOT” other outside factors of what other people think. I learned that “The people who matter wont mind, and those who mind don’t matter” which means you shouldn’t care about what people think. As long as the person can make you happy, then that is all that matters. There shouldn’t be a time where one is miserable and the other is happy. Yes, it will be hard and filled with disagreement and argument but time must be taken to fix it. Be patient with one another. A relationship should push (never forced) each other to be stronger and to be a better person. That’s a relationship, and something everyone deserves.




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