A Beautiful Mess

4 06 2011

I consider myself a mess. Wondering in this world with very little direction on what I want to do with my life. There isn’t a time in my life where I’m not thinking about what I should do with my life and money. I worry too much. I think, and believe, that money and your career determine your lifestyle and your level of happiness. Most of my day is chasing other people’s dreams rather then focusing on my own. My mind becomes frustrated with over thinking of what it means to have a rich life.

A rich life – the American Dream of owning property, is having a beautiful dream house, being successful in your career or own business and having a family. Most of our lives we are chasing the American Dream, trying to capture one of the many goals. We chase. We run. We become caught up what society says we must have and what we must be. The America Dream has become the foundation of everyone’s goals. Our life, our education, our career choices and the material items we purchase.

Now I consider the American Dream as a “Hot Mess.” We lose ourselves, sacrificing our time, energy, resources and our health to receive what our society defines as successful or rich. And once we receive what we sacrifice for, we never feel it’s enough. We end up pushing ourselves further to get more of what society wants.  We are never satisfied because of the constant change of trends of what’s in and what’s not.   I want to stop this chase of the American Dream and start pursuing something greater.

I’m in search of a “Beautiful Mess.” Inspired by this blog, my church community and my constant thought of redefining my life, I am in search of a better me. I call this a mess because the attempt to change is difficult. I know how hard it is to create new habits because our old ways always insist to stay the way we are. I want a different outlook on life. I want to stop thinking about other people’s careers, their material possessions and their size of their bank accounts. I want to be great in my own way and be happy because of it.

A Beautiful Mess is to pursue self-improvement, owning your thoughts and actions that reflect what is right and to be successful in life by living your passion. A beautiful mess is the process and progress of growth – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Where we break down the barriers of social structure to witness the pure beauty of being HUMAN. To struggle, to go against the grain and the crowd in search to be different amongst a society that strives to reach the same goal. We are not everyone else we encounter. We have faults, obstacles and struggles that the world presents to us so that we may learn to grow. It is this mess we find beauty. In this mess we find ourselves. It is in our ruins we find our transformation.  Beauty in life is similar to happiness, we choose to be happy the same way we choose to find the beauty in this world and in ourselves.


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